What Makes A Good Agent?

In a lift in the Sheraton Hotel in Kuwait, I met an American businessman whose eyes were glazed and smelt of alcohol.  This was of interest if only because Kuwait is dry.  He half grinned, and winked at me, saying “thank heaven for a good agent – and we know what makes a good agent, don’t we?” 

It so happened that this very question had preoccupied me professionally for over a year. I thought that I should take this opportunity to learn from an old hand.

So I replied “no, tell me, what does make a good agent?” 

He rolled his eyes and replied as if to a slow child: “a good agent delivers a bottle of Scotch to your room in a brown paper bag.”

If that is all you want from your agent, it would be easier and cheaper to stay at home and get your Scotch from the off-licence.